Jennifer Anne Kogler

is terrible. And wonderful. And terribly wonderful. Yes, I’m procrastinating writing something intelligent about it. So there. I will also cover the topic “Driving Across Country: Believe the Hype.” Tune in next Monday.

Hi all,

Now I know some of you are breathlessly waiting for my treatise on MySpace — well, next week, it’s gonna happen. The verdict’s still out on the site, I’m formulating my argument as we speak.

But in the meantime, I’d like to introduce my first Guest Blogger. I know what you’re saying. What a cop out. A guest blogger does the work for you and still allows you to get all the credit. Which is true. Which is why I had to find a total sucker to be my guest blogger.

His name is Nick. Here is a picture of him. He enjoys being funnier than you, being too funny to date, and pretending to be serious when he’s really just being funny.

He says he wants to have a daughter just like Ruby Tuesday when he grows up. So that he can bilk her out of her trust fund.

At least that’s my theory. For his guest blog, he has created some Ruby Tuesday Fan Fiction. Without further adieu . . .

RUBY TUESDAY THINKS ABOUT GOING TO THE DRIVE-IN, BUT THEN DOESN’T

RUBY: Wait for me, you guys!
HOLLIS: Hurry or you’ll be late.
RUBY: Actually I don’t want to go.
HOLLIS: Suit yourself.
—————-

RUBY TUESDAY GOES TO RUBY TUESDAY’S IN THE MALL

RUBY: Chicken Fajitas, please.
WAITER: Anything else?
RUBY: Actually, could I get chicken and steak?
WAITER: It’s a dollar extra.
RUBY: From one Ruby to another, that is too expensive.

Ruby spends the rest of the week regretting her decision, and eventually buys a puppy or something.
—————

RUBY TUESDAY CLIMBS TO THE TOP OF MOUNT EVEREST

RUBY: At last! The top of Mount Everest!
JACK: Ruby stop standing on the table.
RUBY: Thank you, good sherpa, for you have kept me out of danger.
JACK: I’m your brother. We’re at IHOP.
RUBY: Yes, in a way, the highest point on earth is metaphorically like a pancake. How wise you are, young sherpa.
HOLLIS: You’re ruining Christmas.

Ruby plants her fork into a pile of pancakes and claims Mount Everest in the name of the Sweet Family.

If you’d like to Guest Blog, email Jennifer Anne Kogler. This one’s gonna be hard to live up to, though.